Admit it, you know you’re making a statement when you buy a new car. What you don’t know is if your car choice is making the statement you want it to. Based on (non scientific) research, here’s what your ride says about you.

Chevy Suburban

Suburban

Image via Flickr by woodleywonderworks

What does the Suburban say about your life? That you don’t have one anymore. Between your three teenaged boys and those pretty toddler twins, it’s amazing there’s room for all the hockey gear, soccer shoes and strollers, not to mention the Bernese mountain dog you can’t leave home alone. Your day’s a success if you manage to brush your hair before you leave the house to drive the kids around.

Toyota Camry

Don’t be fooled by slick ads showing the racy side of the Camry. There isn’t one. When you drive a Camry, you’re telling the world that you’re cautious, safe and sensible. You recycle faithfully and brown-bag your lunch every day. Bonus points if your Camry is navy blue, that means you’re introverted, shy and love Sudoku.

Mercedes-Benz M-Class

MClass

Image via Flickr by Alexandre Prevot

Your schedule is packed, darling, absolutely packed. Pilates at 9, a mani-pedi at 10, lunch with Giselle at noon, then you must rush to catch little Sebastian’s after-school lacrosse match before dashing off for tennis at the club. You’re the type who double-parks, unless, of course, there’s a valet. You and Kim Kardashian both got Birkin bags for Christmas last year.

Nissan Frontier

frontier

Image via Flickr by Donnierayjones

You want people to think you’re gruff and tough with a “git ‘er done” attitude, the type of guy who spends weekends clearing his land with a chainsaw. Actually, your truck is parked in front of your nice suburban home, and the most rugged thing you’ve hauled is 80 bags of mulch to put under your daughter’s swing set. You know what gave you away? Real ranchers buy American trucks,¬†and never bright white.

Cadillac XTS

When you drive that new Caddie off the lot, you’re showing the world you’ve reached the pinnacle of success. What the world sees, however, is a retired person with obsessive-compulsive disorder about keeping his car-baby in pristine condition. You drive too slowly, have protective floor mats, and keep leather polish and a buffing cloth under the seat. Tell the truth, how many pairs of plaid golf pants do you own?

Volkswagen Jetta

Jetta

Image via Flickr by The Pug Father

Sure, the Jetta is affordable, economical and fun to drive, but that’s not why you bought it. It’s because you’re a hipster and hipsters love VWs. It’s got jacks for all your Apple stuff, a sound system to blast your Death Cab for Cutie tunes, solid cup holders for your free-trade coffee, and a trunk large enough for that totally awesome vintage birdcage you found at the thrift shop.

Obviously, no science was used in developing this list. Sometimes a busy mom drives a coupe and a banker drives a monster truck car. What do you think your car says about you?